Hiding Out in Bed

July 18, 2012 by Leave a Comment

Some weeks one should just stay in bed, crawl under the duna and let the world go by. Last week was one such week for me. It was and still is icy cold in Melbourne, especially early in the morning. Since my day starts around 4am with meditation and yoga stretches, I have felt the bite of the cold when it’s at its worst. It has been a challenge doing my early morning routine, not the meditation part as I usually do that sitting up in bed, but the yoga part of it – ooh it’s taken every bit of ‘get-up-and-go’ I have to do it. And I must confess some mornings I had the ‘get-up’ but definitely not the ‘go’ so I’d meditate for a bit longer just so I could steal those extra moments of cosy warmth.

The challenge my daughter went through at Supre in Chadstone set a mood for the week that lingered like the grey skies in wintery Britain. It took more than a few days for both our Spirits to settle down again.

And to really rub salt into a week of wounds, I experienced yet another rejection around my YA manuscript. I’m not sure if this rejection hurt more than the others have because I was already having a ‘bad’ week or if it just felt like the end of the world because I’m so tired of getting ‘NO’s’ on my writing pieces. The only thing that keeps me going is a quote I read some time ago ‘if J.K. Rowling had given up, there would be no Harry Potter’ and since I love the Harry Potter series and a big chunk of the world does too, I figure I may as well push on through. But it is really challenging some days. It’s a good thing I love writing so much and largely do it for my own sanity. Writing helps me make sense of the world – most of the time. This past week the world just got the better of me and no matter how much I tried to turn words into phrases, into sentences and into paragraphs, very little made sense to me. So I’m still thinking it was probably just a time where hiding out in bed would’ve made a lot more sense to me than anything else.

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Shattered, but not broken

September 5, 2010 by Leave a Comment

An old friend recently ended some pretty horrific news with a parting phrase “shattered, but not broken” and I sat in silence in awe of that expression, but also in awe of the human Spirit.

I thought back to some of my own experiences when I’d reached the bottom of a very dark pit and could not see a way out. When everything within and around me seemed shattered. I knew I could come out of the experience from a physical perspective. It was simply a case of taking one action at a time to move forward even if I was in a zombie-like state. I wasn’t so sure about the emotional part of the experience, because there were days when I stood on the edge of a dark emotional black hole. There were days when I knew if I stayed one second longer in the cloud of the dark and depressing thoughts of my shattering experiences, there was a strong chance I’d never emerge into the light of a new beginning.

But somehow there is always the tiniest glimmer of survival that exists in all of us. And I realize that sometimes we come through rubbish experiences purely by our will to survive. We might be bruised, battered and even shattered by the pain of our experiences, but as long as we remain unbroken, we do come through it and we do live to tell the tale. And this reminds us of the amazing strength of our inner Spirits. And there is power in being able to say “shattered, but not broken”

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“Go” or “no go”

August 3, 2010 by Leave a Comment

I heard once that you’ve really reached the deepest levels of comfort with another when you’re able to discuss “the go” or “no go” movements without flinching – bowel movements that is.

A member of my family recently had surgery and discovered like I did a few years ago after my surgeries that one of the worst side effects is the constipation from the painkillers and/or anaesthetic. I was amused to find myself in a twenty-something minute conversation about the various ways we could not just speed up the movement, but get it going in the first place.

The old favourites like prune juice mixed with warm water, handfuls of dried apricots or figs or stewed apple rated high amongst the more pleasant options, whilst enemas and other such unpleasant options were met with a sigh and a groan. Though the conversation took place over the phone, I could clearly picture the screwed up face on the other end of the line at the thought of the unmentionables.

Despite the warped comfort of what would usually be an uncomfortable topic of conversation, the general consensus was the same – being able to go brings such a feeling of relief and lightness, especially if there’s been a struggle. And I’m sure that applies to more areas of life than just the bowels – letting go of crap is definitely the way to go.

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